From Chaos to Calm: What Overwhelm Really Is & How to Break Free?
Daksha Patel 
Feeling overwhelmed? Discover what overwhelm actually is, how it sneaks into your daily life and practical tools to manage it.
You know that feeling, when your to-do list is growing, your mind is racing and even the smallest decisions feel impossible. That’s overwhelm. And it’s more common than you think.
I work with women who look like they’ve got it all together on the outside… but inside, they’re holding their breath, spinning too many plates and quietly wondering: “Is it always going to feel this hard?”
Let’s talk about what’s really going on when you’re overwhelmed and how you can begin to shift it.
What Is Overwhelm, Really?
Overwhelm is what happens when your brain and body feel like they can’t keep up. It’s not just mental, it’s physiological, biological and emotional. You drop into survival mode. Decision-making becomes foggy. You react instead of respond..
How Does Overwhelm Shows Up in Your Day?
Overwhelm doesn’t always come with sirens blaring. It often shows up quietly. Here’s what to look for:
- You forget simple things - like why you walked into the room.
- Small tasks feel enormous - even replying to a message feels like too much.
- You feel snappy or shut down - like you’re living on the edge of irritability or numbness.
- You procrastinate or overwork - bouncing between extremes.
- You feel like crying… or like you can’t feel anything at all.
- Sleep gets disrupted - your mind races at night or you wake up tired.
Does this sound familiar?
What Causes Overwhelm?
Overwhelm rarely has a single source. It’s more like a slow build-up, layer upon layer, until your system says “enough.”
Here are some of the most common and often overlooked, causes:
1. Unclear Boundaries
You want to be helpful, available, and reliable. So you say yes, even when you're tired, even when your plate is already full. Before you know it, you're stretched too thin and resentful… but still showing up.
🌀 You give from an empty cup, thinking it's noble. But it only leaves you depleted.
2. Too Many Open Loops
Unfinished tasks, unanswered emails, half-done projects, mental reminders, it all clogs up your cognitive bandwidth. Your brain is trying to juggle too much in the background and it's exhausting.
🌀 Even when you're not actively doing anything, your mind feels "on" all the time.
3. Perfectionism & High Expectations
You set high standards for your work, your relationships, even how you should “feel.” But when reality doesn’t match your inner ideal, you internalise it as failure.
🌀 Overwhelm often hides behind the mask of “I should be doing better.”
4. Emotional Suppression
You power through instead of pausing. You tell yourself to “just get on with it.” But unacknowledged emotions don’t disappear, they store up in the body and resurface as tension, irritability or shutdown.
🌀 What you resist emotionally can multiply energetically.
5. Decision Fatigue
Every day you make hundreds of decisions, from what to wear, eat, say, schedule, reply to. When you're in a prolonged state of stress, even simple choices start to feel like pressure points.
🌀 It’s not the one big decision that burns you out—it’s the 100 little ones.
6. Lack of Recovery Time
You’re constantly “on.” Even rest isn’t truly restful, because your mind is still planning, analysing, or worrying. Without intentional recovery time, your body doesn’t get a chance to reset.
🌀 Rest is not a reward. It’s a requirement.
7. Trying to Do It All Alone
You pride yourself on being strong and capable. But carrying everything—without asking for help, only feeds the cycle. Overwhelm thrives in isolation.
🌀 Support doesn’t make you weak. It makes you sustainable.
8. Unaligned Priorities
Sometimes you’re busy, but not with what actually matters to you. You're climbing the ladder, but it’s leaning against the wrong wall. That misalignment can leave you drained, even if you’re productive.
🌀 Being busy isn’t the same as being fulfilled.
How Do You Shift Out of Overwhelm?
Here’s the good news: You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need a few simple tools to begin shifting from chaos to calm.
1. Pause and Breathe
When you're overwhelmed, slowing your breath helps slow your thoughts. Try this:
- Inhale for 5 counts
- Exhale for 5 counts
- Repeat for 2 minutes
This brings your nervous system out of fight-or-flight and into a more grounded state.
2. Name What You’re Feeling
Overwhelm thrives in vagueness. Get specific: “I’m feeling anxious because I don’t know where to start.” Naming it reduces its power.
3. Start Small
What’s the next small step? Not all of it. Just the next 10-minute task. Action brings clarity.
4. Create Space in Your Day
Even 5 minutes of quiet—no phone, no email, just you—can reset your system.
5. Get Support
You don’t have to carry it alone. Whether it’s a friend, a coach, or a guided resource, support helps you come back to yourself.
Final Thought
You’re human and you’re carrying a lot.
We live in a world that moves fast, demands more and rarely invites us to pause. Especially if you’re an ambitious woman, leading a team, running a business, managing a family, it can feel like there’s no off switch.
Overwhelm isn’t a personal failure. It’s not that you can’t handle life. It’s that you’ve been handling too much for too long without the space to reset.
Overwhelm is not a sign that you need to do more. It’s a whisper (sometimes a scream) that something needs to change.
When you listen to that whisper, you reclaim your energy, your clarity and your power to choose differently.
And from that place of being calm, clear and grounded, you lead with so much more ease.
With love and gratitude
